Okay, so if I can’t get my friend to post some of her funny stories as a guest blogger, I will do what I know best and post a funny one about her. I’m sure there will be hell to pay later. If you don’t hear from me for a while, don’t worry, I’ll heal up soon and the hospital will release me.
Here it goes…
My friend and I used to meet at a local park to go running. It’s a beautiful park with several trails with different terrains….and critters. Some critters were real and some were imaginary. Hey, running through the thick forest will play tricks on you. Note to friend: there’s no need to tell our lovely readers that I just about jumped out of my skin because a leaf blew across the trail in front of me. That leaf was vicious!
Anyway, after our run, we came off the trail and were walking back to our cars in the parking lot when I heard some rustling in a nearby trash can. Since I was curious and thought I had 9 lives, I stopped my friend so we could check it out.
Me: Did you hear that?
Friend: (grabbing my arm): No, don’t go over there.
Me: Oh, it’s probably nothing. I just want to see what it is.
Friend: (standing back a good distance with a worried look)
Me: (glancing into the trashcan, but see nothing)
Friend: Whatever it is, you better not disturb it.
Me: Oh, it’s probably nothing. Come here, ya big chicken!
Friend: Hell no!
Me: (I lightly kick the trash can)
Rustling in trash can stops.
Friend: (in a serious tone, whispering so “rustler” won’t be alarmed) What is it?
Me: (shrugging) I don’t know
Friend: Maybe you shouldn’t antagonize it.
And this happened:
The next thing I heard was screaming, but my friend was nowhere to be found. She was like a fart in the wind and left a streak of shit a mile wide. She went from 0 to 60 faster than a Ferrari. People at the park froze in their tracks and looked to see what all the commotion was about. I laughed so hard that I had to cross my legs so I didn’t pee on myself. What did the raccoon do? He looked at me, rolled his eyes and went back inside to attend to his trash pickin’. Me? I made my way to the parking lot where I found my friend by her car. She proceeded to hold up her middle finger to tell me that I was #1.
Just to commemorate the occasion, I just might have to buy her this:
What do you think?