Dreams can be pretty fickle. They come in like a thief in the night! If you’re not careful to hold on to those fleeting thoughts by morning…. they’ll be just that: Fleeting.
It was a winter night, when a series of confusing dreams began to seep into my mind. A higher conscience may have been able to piece together the puzzle a bit quicker than my fickle brain, but nonetheless, I was left with pieces of an unconscious puzzle.
Journal – March 20, 2005 – In my dream, I saw a body filled with a black liquid ooze. At the time, the only thing I could associate with it, was tar. A female body was on a steel table and in slow motion, the ooze traveled throughout her whole body. It seem to start in her heart and then spread down her veins. The body had a grayish tint and I’m not sure how I was positioned, but I noticed her body, from the neck down, before I looked at her face. It was startling to recognize a familiar face of my childhood friend, Carlita.
(Even in my dreams, there’s still a weird sense of attachment. I’m usually aware that I’m dreaming. It helps me from being scared to death, I suppose.)
I had just seen my friend a few months ago. Maybe it had been six months, but she was telling me and another friend, Kim, that she was excited about an upcoming surgical procedure. She lost one of her breasts to cancer and was getting fat sucked out of other areas in her body to help her get her boobie back.
We both gushed that we were excited for her and a wee bit jealous that she was getting liposuction from her hips and stomach area to help her chest become fuller. Thoughts of chemo were gone and we were celebrating her remission. Now this dream was just not acceptable! It had to be wrong, but I couldn’t wake up.
In the next instance, she was sitting directly in front of me, with a heavenly smile on her face. She was breathtakingly beautiful. There were no worries on her face. She was almost at complete peace. She told me that she was happy. That she was okay. She voiced one regret. “I wish I had more money to leave my children and family.”
End of Journal
There was nothing else. No foretelling of the future. Maybe if I believed what was happening, I could have had a better conversation with her, but I was tongue-tied.
She touched my hand and told me, “I’m okay. I’m better now.”
The touch from her hand was indescribable. It was like she was telling me, just by touching my hand. I’m not even sure if she said it or if I just felt it.
Looking at the clock on my nightstand enlightened me that I had only been asleep a few minutes. MAYBE 5. It felt like forever. It was so quick. Almost fleeting, but this one stayed behind, with striking clarity.
At the time, my cousin was staying with me. I shared my dream with her later that morning, since she was friends with her too. We both made a plan to visit our friend or call her to check on her. Trying to shake away the ‘bad blues’ feeling, we talked about other things, and was interrupted by a phone call.
At first, I was excited to hear Kim’s voice, because I was planning on calling her, so that we could all visit our friend Carlita. My excitement faded, as I heard her sobbing.
“She’s dead Clarice!” She was screaming on the phone in the middle of the store. She received news that our friend had passed away. We’d just missed her funeral.
Note: Back in the day, we moved and changed numbers a lot. Usually if we needed to get in contact with each other, we would call our friend’s parents, because they always kept the same number. At that time, I think everybody’s number changed.
What we eventually found out was that she could’t have the reconstructive surgery. When the doctors opened her up, they saw that the cancer had spread throughout her entire body. They closed her back up and she didn’t last much longer after that.
I went to her grave and saw the family couldn’t afford a tombstone. Carlita’s words rang back to me about wishing she’d left her family more money. From personal experience, I know a funeral can be expensive, but there are still other things that will come up, and I knew there were tough days ahead for all involved.
At the time, I told Carlita’s mother of my dream. It seemed to give her some comfort. She told me that in her last days, Carlita asked her to stop being so mean!
Realizing that the ‘tar’ was a symbol for the cancer that took over her body was the piece to the puzzle that I didn’t even know I was looking for. I wish that I had thought about her more often. I assumed that everything was going her way.
Well, you know what they say about assumptions, and I did feel like an ass.
I’m glad her mom was open to what I had to tell her and didn’t think I was being kooky. I hope that when times get difficult, that she can think back on the dream I had, and know her daughter is at peace.
I’d like to leave you with this last tidbit. First, be mindful of the dreams you have. The remnants, or pieces of your dream, can fit somewhere. You just have to be open and patient. Eventually, those pieces of your dream will fall neatly in place. Lastly, say a prayer before you share it, in hopes that it can help others.
About the Author: Born and raised in Chicago, IL, C. JoVan Williams has a B.S.B.A. in Managerial Accounting from Trident University, and works as a freelance writer. When she’s not writing articles, she’s writing children’s books, YA cozy mysteries, and middle grade fiction. Mrs. Williams is a USAF military spouse, a mother to three children, a silly daughter, and a sister too many. You can view her contact information below:
Printed Books, Kindle, and Audio Books are available for purchase here: Click here for purchase link