Russians Stealing Passports


I don’t know if it’s me or whomever I’m speaking with that usually has a problem with communication.  I could easily admit that I’m not a good listener, but I don’t think that is true.  Or I could blame the other person for their failures in getting the point across.  Yeah, that’s better.

About 10 years ago, I was having one such conversation with a friend of mine and I don’t know how we got on the topic of passports, but we did. It was probably because I was looking for a way to escape the snow up north. I had cabin fever, B-A-D!

We were talking on the phone and this is the conversation I heard: (<—key words: I heard) Keep in mind that I tend to be a very logical person and that translates into me over-analyzing everything.

Me:  Doesn’t it take a long time to get a passport?  Like 6 weeks or something?

Friend: No, not usually.  When we (meaning her and her husband) went to Germany and went to the post office, a Russian stole our passport for three days.

Me: …


Friend:  Are you still there?

Me:  Yep.  I’m just thinking.

Friend:  About what?

Me: Well, if a Russian stole my passport and didn’t give it back for three days, I would chase that bastard down and beat the shit out of him. It has nothing to do with being Russian either. I don’t care who stole my passport, I’d kick their ass.

Friend:  …


Me:  I mean, you’re in a foreign country and you are without a passport for three days?  How does that happen?

Friend:  I’m confused.

Me:  You said a Russian stole your passport.

Friend:  No.  No, I didn’t.

Me: (going over the conversation in my head)

Friend:  …

Me:  Yes, you did. 

She’s silent for a while before she bursts out laughing.

Me:  What’s so funny?  A Russian stealing your passport is not funny.  I’m serious, I’d beat his ass.

Friend:  You’re an idiot.  What I said was that it doesn’t take long to get your passport.  You can rush in (not Russian) to the post office and get it in three days.

Me:  Oh.  How did I get, “Russian stole your passport?”

Friend: Because you’re an idiot, that’s why.

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