I don’t know if it’s me or whomever I’m speaking with that usually has a problem with communication. I could easily admit that I’m not a good listener, but I don’t think that is true. Or I could blame the other person for their failures in getting the point across. Yeah, that’s better.
About 10 years ago, I was having one such conversation with a friend of mine and I don’t know how we got on the topic of passports, but we did. It was probably because I was looking for a way to escape the snow up north. I had cabin fever, B-A-D!
We were talking on the phone and this is the conversation I heard: (<—key words: I heard) Keep in mind that I tend to be a very logical person and that translates into me over-analyzing everything.
Me: Doesn’t it take a long time to get a passport? Like 6 weeks or something?
Friend: No, not usually. When we (meaning her and her husband) went to Germany and went to the post office, a Russian stole our passport for three days.
Friend: Are you still there?
Me: Yep. I’m just thinking.
Friend: About what?
Me: Well, if a Russian stole my passport and didn’t give it back for three days, I would chase that bastard down and beat the shit out of him. It has nothing to do with being Russian either. I don’t care who stole my passport, I’d kick their ass.
Me: I mean, you’re in a foreign country and you are without a passport for three days? How does that happen?
Friend: I’m confused.
Me: You said a Russian stole your passport.
Friend: No. No, I didn’t.
Me: (going over the conversation in my head)
Me: Yes, you did.
She’s silent for a while before she bursts out laughing.
Me: What’s so funny? A Russian stealing your passport is not funny. I’m serious, I’d beat his ass.
Friend: You’re an idiot. What I said was that it doesn’t take long to get your passport. You can rush in (not Russian) to the post office and get it in three days.
Me: Oh. How did I get, “Russian stole your passport?”
Friend: Because you’re an idiot, that’s why.