Go Vote! Oh Yeah, and I Won Another Award!

I’ve won an award. Another award! Imagine that. Life is getting better.

Blog Award

Vikki Claflin over at http://laugh-lines.net/ nominated me, so thank you for that! Y’all must check her out. She’s funny too!

So, here’s the deal.

1. I’m supposed to display my award somewhere on my blog;
2. I’m supposed to nominate a short list of bloggers (with their links);
3. Answer a series of 8 questions that my nominees should also answer.

And the nominees are (grabbing and opening the envelope; cue musical background):



Yep, sorry folks, but that’s it. The last time I handed out an award only a few bloggers responded. So, pfffftttt.

Why do you blog?

I’ve always wanted to be a writer and published author. At first, I started to blog because of an article I read in Writer’s Digest that indicated agents and publishers are scanning blogs to find new writers. I have already written my novel, Wherever You Go, but am in the editing phase. It was my plan to post one chapter per week to view any responses that I might get and to generate a little buzz. But, then I got side-tracked with the funny stories that have happened to me and the next thing I knew, I had a growing blog with a different kind of buzz. Now, it is my goal to follow in the footsteps of two of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster and Stacey Ballis.  Jen writes non-fiction (memoir) and fiction. Ya’ll should check out her books: Jeneration X, Here I Go Again, Bitter is the New Black, Bright Lights, Big Ass, My Fair Lazy, If You Were Here: A Novel, Such a Pretty Fat, and Pretty in Plaid. Stacey is a fiction writer that weaves amazing stories sprinkled with humor. You should check out her books: Off the Menu, Good Enough to Eat, Room for Improvement, The Spinster Sisters, and Inappropriate Men. I would like to be a cross between the two and am now focused on writing my own non-fiction (memoir) novel about a southerner who finds herself in New England. Naturally, a redneck in Yankee territory makes for funny reading. Or, at least, I hope it does. Of course, I’d like to continue my fiction writing as well. I can only hope that one of the two—preferably both—will take off! Long story, short…too late.

If you were trapped on a desert island, what book, DVD, food, cartoon character, or childhood game would you bring?

Oh, wow. What a difficult question because I love to read so I don’t think I could narrow it down to only one book. I guess what I would do is max out the memory of my Nook and load it down with all my favorites, but then I wouldn’t have electricity to charge the damn thing. Okay, so the Nook is out. In fact, I wouldn’t even be able to bring a DVD because of the same issue. What kind of question is this? Hell, if I can bring a DVD, then I could also bring my Nook. Problem solved. As for DVD(s), I’d bring my box set of all the seasons of The Sopranos. Food? Caramel popcorn. Cartoon character? I’m silly enough and don’t want the competition. Childhood game? Never really had a favorite, but I guess maybe Trivial Pursuit or Boggle (I do love word games).

Share a funny joke or one-liner.

Two nuns are riding their bikes back from the library to their convent. On the way, one nun suggests they take a short cut down a cobblestone alley.

About half way down the alley, one nun says to the other nun, “Wow, I’ve never come this way before”

The other nun replies, “Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones”

(NOTE: don’t ask me to explain this joke, but think about cobblestone causing the bicycle seat to vibrate.  Moving on now.)

Here’s another one:

Two nuns are on vacation in Transylvania. Despite all the warnings to the contrary, they’ve stayed out after dark. Sure enough, as they’re driving along, a vampire flies out of the night and lands on their windshield, hissing and baring his horrible bloody fangs.

“Dear Lord! What shall we do?” cries the first nun.

“Turn on the windshield wipers. Maybe that will break his grip,” answers the
second nun.

No luck. Now the vampire is wet and angry. He claws at the windshield.

“Now what shall we do?” yells the first nun, getting even more scared.

“Weave the car back and forth. Maybe he’ll fall off,” says the second nun.

No luck. The vampire is beating on the glass now, and it’s starting to crack.

“NOW WHAT!?!?!” cries the first nun.

The second nun tries to remember how to get rid of vampires. She has a sudden flash of insight. “Show him your cross!” she yells, triumphantly.

The second nun sticks her head out the window and yells, “Get off my car, you son of a bitch before I smack you with a ruler!”

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

My ability to dig deeper into the meaning of anything and everything. Of course, sometimes, that gets me in trouble. 

What one word best describes you?

I’ve heard so many times that I’m unapproachable—that is, until you get to know me. It’s easy for people to describe me like that, but the fact of the matter is that I tend to be quite shy and am very awkward when I meet people for the first time.

If you could have a lifetime supply of any candy/candy bar, what would it be?

Caramel!  Yumm-O!

What fictional character do you relate to most?

I have no earthly idea. I think I relate myself more to non-fictional characters, but I don’t think I could pin it down to just one.

If you were to write the story of your life, what would you call it?

I have already titled it, “The Life I Live, So You Don’t Have To.”


Anyway, on the political side of life, If you haven’t already voted, today is your last day!

Do the country a favor and do your part.


I don’t care who you vote for.

I’m not telling you who to vote for.

I’m not telling you who I voted for.

Don’t leave messages on this blog praising or bashing the candidates.

I don’t want to hear it.

Just Go Vote!

And thank goodness this will all be over soon. I’m so sick of seeing the ads!

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