Does anyone remember those clothes “hampers” that were built into the wall? It had two doors on the bottom that would swing out (to remove clothes) and a door above those other doors that would flip open (to insert clothes). Those of you who grew up in the 70’s know what I’m talking about. Those of you who didn’t, I’m sorry, you’ll just have to use your imagination. I couldn’t even find a picture of one of those on Google, so just deal with it.
I think these hampers solely existed for small kids to play in or to be tortured by their siblings. Luckily, I was an only child and my mother still sends a prayer of thanks for that small fact to this day. But don’t think I didn’t play in it.
I used to climb in and pretend that I was driving. Yes, driving. Stop judging. When you are the sole child in the house, you have to be creative. It’s a necessity.
Anyway, my mom couldn’t find me, although she could hear me mumbling something. As she got closer to the sound, she could finally hear:
Me: Get outta tha way, you sumbitch!
Me (shifting gears in my “car”): I said, Get outta tha way, you sumbitch!
Mom (opening the hamper): What are you doing?
Me (startled): I’m just driving like you, Momma!