Lighting the Furnace

Have you ever seen one of them thar (<–southernism)  bathroom furnace’s that are inserted into the wall?  If you’re as old as I am, then you have.  If you’re not, I Google’d it for you (You’re welcome!):


I used to live in an old house.  One that was older than me.  The house was built in the 1920’s.  I was built in the 1970’s-ish.  Okay, 1970.

Anyway, they weren’t the most convenient things to turn on.  It’s not like it had a switch that said ON and OFF and heat magically appeared.  Nope, you had to use a match on these suckers.

But be careful!

In order to light the furnace, you have to turn the knob to release a small amount of gas — enough gas to use a match to light it.  Use too much gas and P-O-O-F!  That’s right.  It’s loud enough and hot enough to make you poop your pants, which is what happened to me, right after I charred my eyebrows clean off my forehead because my face got too close.  Thank goodness I was about to take a shower.  Do you know what people look like without eyebrows?  Believe it or not, those furry caterpillars resting above your eyes make a huge difference.  Enough said.

There should be a warning label, informing idiots that crap like this should not be tried at home, but then that defeats the purpose of having one of these bastards installed in your bathroom.

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