WordPress has this fun little feature built-in where you can see what words people use to find your blog. It’s actually called, “Search Engine Terms,” but it should be called, “Hilarious things people type.” Here are the one’s that have shown up on my statistics and I’ve added my commentary (in italics) for more fun. Enjoy!
Jen Lancaster isn’t funny
(Whatever! She’s totally hilarious!)
Thanksgiving pun images
(Huh?)
quiet meow noisy eating weight loss
(Is this a new diet? Note to self: must try. How in the hell did they find my blog with those search terms?)
Twinkie truck
(People are obviously mourning the loss of Hostess. Uh, I’m glad I could help?)
is my gas pilot light making me sneeze
(Probably because it’s the #1 cause for allergies)
Church’s reaction to e l james (<—the author of 50 Shades of Grey)
(They probably had a bonfire after boozing it up at the local bar)
shit my pants
(If you have to search the internet to figure out if you’ve really shit your pants, you have bigger issues, my friend)
poop “his diaper”
(Ditto. See above response)
naughty halloween cartoons
(50 Shades of Grey sounds like it would be right up your alley. Pick up the Trilogy and quit looking at cartoons)
how many times is the word murmur used in 50 shades of grey
(Too many to count. Take my word for it)
saying goodbye to mother email
(just hit ‘send’ already!)
were to no c lub peng to be a host
(maybe this person should use Google Translate?)
can you get a bbl with out stomach being liposuction
(this person needs to see a doctor — STAT!)
I’m a curmudgeon i admit it
(admitting it is the first step to recovery!)
dead in a rocking chair
(I think I just lost a reader? Call 9-1-1!)
the lifee i live so you don’t have t
(clearly they lost their train of thought and couldn’t finish the sentence. Nor could they spell “life” properly)
today i pooped myself
(I’m sorry, but shit happens)
life live grammar nazi
(apparently you aren’t a grammar nazi and should seek another career)
falling down on halloween cartoons
(maybe you should watch your alcohol consumption? Just a thought.)
New one added today: moose male enhancement
(Really?)
I am grateful that people are able to find my blog, but I do find their search terms rather funny!
The Life I Live...So You Don't Have To! 