Tag Archives: thanksgiving

Somebody’s Got To Do It

Did everyone survive Thanksgiving? How about Black Friday?

My cat, Jasper, is trying to recover:

Jasper Cat upside down

That’s how he rolls (on his back)

He’s a glutton like that! He didn’t have any turkey, because it’s bad for him, but he called me into a meeting this morning. He said that I wasn’t representing the hard lives of the cat population in a proper manner. So here it is, the hard life of a cat. I’m representin’ now, Jasper!

It must be hard to lie upside down in a bed all day long, have your food brought to you, and get loved on constantly. But I guess he has a point, because there is blonde dog hair (thank you Moose and Jacob) that he has to lay upon. I’m sure he’ll be filing a complaint with upper management after the holidays. Little does he know, I’m upper management!

Then again, the cat is always upper-management, which just makes me human resources!

Black Friday

I’m amazed that Black Friday actually began on Thanksgiving evening, but there’s no stopping the crazies.

Here in Pea Pickin’ Town, Texas, rednecks started lining up last week outside of their home away from home: Wal-Mart. This is the second most important annual event (the first annual event is deer season) that will bring rednecks out from under the rocks (Yes, “rocks” is plural because some rednecks have more than one rock).

They could be seen pitchin’ their tents:

redneck tent

This is how redneck’s roll!

Reclining in their redneck recliner’s:

redneck recliner

He brought this from his living room, y’all. Promise!

And firing up the grill for hot dog’s:

cooking hot dogs on a grill

Gourmet food for Rednecks!

When “Black Friday” actually begins, you’ll see these same rednecks taking down the tents they pitched earlier in the week and actually pitchin’ fits as they fight their way to the camouflage in the sporting goods section of Wal-Mart.

Word of advice: Never — ever — get in the way of a redneck on a camouflage shopping spree. If you do, chances are you’ll walk away dazed and confused, limping, and crying for your mommy.

Rednecks 1; Average Joe 0